Achievement Lately: When Netflix Inspires You to Get Off the Couch

I’ve been thinking a lot about achievement lately.

So there I was, deep into a House of Cards binge—watching fictional politicians claw their way to the top of the power ladder—while I sat comfortably on the couch doing the exact opposite. The irony, right? But in my defense, I was multitasking. Kind of.

Somewhere between episode five and a second bowl of popcorn, this familiar pounding started in my chest. Not anxiety. Not caffeine. But that persistent feeling that I need to write this book.

I’ve been dodging this story for a while because, honestly, it’s a heavy one. It’s complicated. It's traumatic. It’s the kind of story that makes your hands tremble before they hit the keyboard. But it’s also the story that could save someone else from making the same mistake.

And maybe that’s the reason it keeps tugging at me.

It was the most traumatic experience of my life. It opened my eyes to the dark corners of the world—and the kinds of people who prey on the naive, the hopeful, the trusting. People say I’m strong, and I appreciate that, but strength isn’t something you wake up with. It’s forged. And this experience… forged me.

The good news? Last night, I wrote.

And when I wrote, I felt okay. Actually okay. I expected to feel panic, or to break down, or to stop halfway through. But I didn’t. It was like something had shifted. Maybe years of therapy and prayer actually worked. Maybe I’m finally on the other side of it.

So why write it now?

Because the story matters. Because I’m not the only one it’s happened to—and I won’t be the last if no one speaks up. Because a man who once lured me with a dream was later arrested for grand larceny. Because closure isn’t always silent; sometimes it’s written.

I’ve drafted versions of this book for years. None of them stuck. But this time feels different. It feels right. And if God keeps nudging me toward it, then maybe it’s finally time to listen. Every time I ignore it, the guilt grows louder. And honestly? I’m tired of carrying it.

So yes, I’ll write the book.

But also, yes—I will finish House of Cards.

Balance, people.

Commitaphobes vs. Monogamers: How the Runner Fell in Love with the Stayer

A good friend of mine—“Los” (short for Carlos)—and I have had countless conversations about the two very real types of people you meet in the dating world: commitaphobes and monogamers.

I'll admit it. For a long time, I was a full-blown commitaphobe. There was a moment when I was literally on the verge of marriage and all I could think was: how far can I run before he catches on? I’d date just long enough to enjoy the thrill but not long enough to be vulnerable. For me, leaving was safer than the risk of being left.

Turns out, abandonment issues have a funny way of shaping your love life.

Then I met “The Comedian.”

And wouldn’t you know it? He was a textbook monogamer. What’s a monogamer, you ask? It’s someone who’s pretty much always in a relationship. My younger sister is one too—rarely single, always in love, thriving in companionship. Same with my fiancé. He loves being in love.

When I met him, I couldn’t help but wonder: What makes me different from the others? Was I just another long-term situation waiting to fizzle?

I knew I had to be honest from day one. I told him straight up: I’m not dating for the sake of dating. I only do real. And surprisingly… so did he. We had this magnetic pull—maybe it was chemistry, maybe it was divine timing, maybe it was the law of attraction finally giving me what I’d been asking for.

Whatever it was, it changed me.

There was a shift inside me when I met The Comedian. I knew it would take someone truly special for me to finally stay. He’s my Mr. Big. (My ex? Total Aidan. Too nice. Too stable. Too easy to run from.)

relationships, love, dating, the comedian

Over the years, I’ve encountered both monogamers and commitaphobes—and yeah, I’ll admit it: I kind of loved the chase. The guys who were hard to get? That was my jam. The ones who made it too easy? Yawn. I’d bolt the other way. Something about the drama, the tension, the unhealthy challenge (lol)—I was hooked.

Looking back, it was all part of my very own Sex and the City love story. Carrie Bradshaw said it best:

“I’m looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.”

the comedian, corks

And somehow, a monogamer and a commitaphobe made it work. He brings out the best in me, and I’m learning—slowly, beautifully—how to be vulnerable. He loves me for my heart, and I love him for helping me grow into someone I didn’t think I could be.

If you’re out there searching for love, maybe you’re a runner too. Maybe you’re waiting for someone to convince you to stay. Or maybe, just maybe, you’ll find your version of Mr. Big who makes you stop running and start trusting.

I know I did.

5 Ways to Boost Your Confidence (Even on the Tough Days)

Being a strong woman in a world that’s constantly trying to dim your light can be exhausting. I literally just finished reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert—after putting it off for ages and watching the movie at least 500 times—and her story left me inspired. Especially her time in India, which helped her reclaim her confidence.

It’s easy to forget how beautiful, smart, sassy, and downright unstoppable we are. So on those days when you’re feeling just a bit “meh,” here are five ways to pick yourself up and remind the world exactly who you are.

1. Dress the Way You Want to Feel

It’s wild what clothes can do for our self-esteem. Ever looked in the mirror and said, “Damn, I look good”? You can feel like that every day.

You’ve heard it before:

“Dress for the job you want.”

Well, dress for the mood you want to. Want to feel sexy? Rock that lace thong that makes you feel like a total vixen. Need to own the day? Slip on your favorite power suit. What you wear on the outside can shift everything on the inside.

2. Drop the Negativity

Negativity is sneaky. Sometimes it comes disguised as friends, gossip, or “just venting.” And yes, it’s easy to get sucked in—hello, reality TV addiction—but it’s toxic to your confidence.

Here’s a little truth bomb: some people are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. If their season has ended and they’re dragging you down, it’s time to lovingly let go. Confidence starts with you, not what they think of you.

3. Talk to Yourself (In a Good Way)

Yes, I mean it—talk to yourself in the mirror. Find a mantra and say it daily. Something like:

“I am beautiful, and no one is going to dim my shine today.”

Or…

“I am a force, and today is mine to own.”

At first, it may feel silly. But self-talk is powerful. Say it until you believe it. And if you don’t believe it? Say it again. And again.

4. Move That Body

You don’t need a gym membership—just move. Dance in your kitchen, go for a walk, do a quick YouTube workout. Exercise releases endorphins, those magical chemicals that make you feel good (think baby laughter, but internal).

And beyond that, it gives you more energy, a better mood, and a serious glow-up in the confidence department.

5. Surround Yourself with Positivity

You are the company you keep. Hang with people who challenge you, uplift you, and believe in your greatness. I’ve been blessed with incredible friends who inspire me every time we’re together—smart, strong, and endlessly supportive.

Yes, it took a while to clear the toxic energy, but it was worth every bit of that journey. Find a mentor, lean into your tribe, and watch your confidence soar.

One final thought: these are tips, not a cure. If you’re experiencing depression, please seek help. As someone who’s been there, I know it’s not easy to get out of your own way. You don’t have to go it alone.

So stay sassy, stay confident, and never forget:
You are the most beautiful woman in the world.

Friends, confidence

5 Steps on Flirting at the Bar

I love these wedding pictures of the Comedian and me from New York. Between the wild props in the photo booths and goodies flying on the dance floor, it was a night to remember. But I digress—we’re here for flirting tips. Specifically, for the ladies. 👠💋

Let’s be real: bars aren’t exactly known for producing lasting love stories, but hey—you never know. Why pass up an opportunity when it presents itself? Society says men should make the first move, but if someone catches your eye, why not make yourself available to be pursued?

Here’s your five-step game plan:

1. Take the First Glance (Then Look Away)

Most men are terrified to approach a woman—especially when she’s with her squad. If someone catches your eye and gets your interest, flash a quick smile, then turn back to your friends like it’s no big deal.

The trick is in the second glance. If you catch him looking again, look back, give a little eyelash flutter, and smile once more. You’ve just opened the door.

2. Divide and Conquer

Now it’s time to separate from the group. Let your friends know you’re making yourself available in case anything goes sideways (safety first). Standing alone makes it easier for him to approach without feeling like he’s entering the lion’s den.

Fun fact: a group of women can be intimidating as hell.

Legs by pennuja

3. OMG, He’s Walking Over!

When he makes his move, keep it cool. Greet him with a casual, “Hi, how are you?” and resist the urge to overshare. Save the life story for later. If he’s genuinely interested, he’ll take the lead and ask questions to keep the convo flowing.

4. Let the Drinks Roll In—But Set Limits

If things are going well, he may offer to buy you a drink. Accept it (gracefully) but always keep an eye on your glass. Limit yourself to 2–3 drinks, depending on your tolerance. Drunk flirting is dangerous territory—you don’t want to overshare that time you got in trouble for a hit-and-run. (Yikes.)

As my friend Los wisely says:

“Only release a little crazy at a time.”

5. To Date or Not to Date?

Now, here’s the moment of truth. If he drops a sexual innuendo early on, that’s your cue to exit. “It was nice meeting you,” and head back to your girls. You’re at a bar, yes—but you’re still in control.

If he keeps it respectful and the vibe is right, exchange numbers. Then? Sashay back to your friends and debrief like the queen you are. 👑

And remember—flirting is fun, but friendship is the reason you went out in the first place. So enjoy your people, spill the tea, and let the night play out.

Why Do Women Need Control?

A few weeks ago, I was on a radio show when one of the hosts said something that struck a nerve: she always pays for dinner—even on the first date.

Now, I didn’t agree with her, but I stayed quiet. It wasn’t my moment. Still, I’ve been sitting with that comment ever since.

What drives a woman to insist on control—even in something as small as picking up the check? Maybe it’s past hurt. Maybe a man once took advantage of her, or maybe she was raised to believe that relying on someone else makes you weak. Maybe it’s a way of saying, “I got this. I don’t need anyone.”

But here’s the thing: love requires vulnerability. It asks us to let go—to soften—and that’s scary. There’s no guarantee you won’t get hurt. But ask yourself this:

“Is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?”

That’s for you to decide. Personally, I want to love. Fully. Fiercely. Unapologetically.
Like Carrie Bradshaw once said:

"I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love."

I’m not here to shame women for being powerful. I am one. I admire ambition, strength, and drive. But there’s something equally powerful—and beautiful—in femininity. Why are we so quick to erase it?

This weekend at a conference, a body language expert said something that stayed with me:

“A woman’s greatest strength is her warmth.” – Susan Constantine, MPsy

Yes, the business world can be brutal. Yes, we fight for our place at the table. But when we step away from the boardroom, why do we feel like we have to wear the same armor in our relationships?

Let’s be real. There is a magic in melting into someone’s arms. There’s power in letting go—in trusting someone enough to lead for a moment. If you’ve never experienced passionate, consuming, raw, melt-the-sheets intimacy… maybe it’s because you’ve never surrendered enough to let it happen.

That’s not weakness. That’s power with softness. And it’s a balance we rarely talk about.

In all the books I’ve read about love—The 5 Love Languages, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, you name it—there’s a common thread: relationships thrive when we honor our roles. Men are wired to protect and provide. Women are built to nurture and connect. There’s beauty in that balance.

So if a man offers to pay, to open a door, to compliment you—let him. He’s not trying to strip your power. He’s doing what he was raised to do. If he’s a decent man (and not a complete douche), he’s not trying to dominate you—he’s trying to care for you.

We don’t lose ourselves by allowing that.
We are women. We multitask like queens, carry emotional loads heavier than most, and literally have the power to grow life inside us. That’s strength.

You don’t need to control everything to be powerful. And just because you don’t need a man doesn’t mean you shouldn’t let one feel needed.

So let him. Why take that away?

You're Going to Rue the Day… You Started My Dream

I’ll be completely transparent: I was let go from my 9–5 job on Monday. Most people would expect me to spiral—cue the dramatic thoughts: “Oh no! What am I going to do?” or “I can’t believe that horrible b**ch let me go. She’s going to rue the day she made that decision!”

But truthfully? I don’t feel that way at all.

Instead, I feel like a massive weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Prayer is a powerful thing—believe that however you will. I hadn’t prayed in a while, but Monday morning I broke the silence. I simply asked, “God, show me where my path to living a dream will take me.”
By that afternoon? Boom. I was let go.

Was it abrupt? Yes. Was the relationship working? Not really. But deep down, I knew I had been using that job as a crutch—an excuse not to pursue what truly sets my soul on fire: writing.

Since I was a little girl, I’ve dreamed of being a writer. For a long time, I thought that meant becoming a journalist. But once I realized that would involve telling other people’s stories in a rigid format, I lost interest. I wanted to write my stories. Raw, vulnerable, unfiltered. I wanted to speak truth—not conform.

But instead of chasing that dream, I did what so many of us do: I got a “real” job. I traded my calling for a paycheck. For years.

It wasn’t until 2011—post-heartbreak, searching for purpose—that I picked up the pen again. Someone told me I had talent. And in that moment, I remembered who I was. I remembered the little girl who felt most alive when she was writing.

The rest unfolded from there.

I dipped my toes into freelance work. I told pieces of my story. And now here I am: jobless, terrified, but finally pursuing my passion full-time.

This leap would not be possible without the unwavering support of the Comedian—my partner in creativity, in dreaming, in believing that we were meant to make things. He reminds me often that we weren’t put on this earth to just exist—we were made to create.

Am I still scared? Absolutely. The fear of the unknown is real. But so is my faith.

Today I read a piece on Addicted2Success.com about stepping through fear—and it hit me hard. I’ve been avoiding the very thing I now feel called to: uncertainty. But the truth is, I wasn’t made for the clock-in, clock-out life. I wasn’t built to spend 40 hours a week chasing someone else’s dream. I was made for this.

And even though I don’t know exactly what “this” looks like yet, I know it’s mine.

So no, I’m not bitter. I’m not resentful. If anything, I’m grateful—because that woman didn’t just let me go. She set me free.

Is the Perfect Man Out There?

Recently, the Comedian was on Central Florida Live (shout out to the crew!), and of course, I was glued to the radio like any proud girlfriend would be. Toward the end of the broadcast, the host asked a question that had me yelling at my speakers: “Are women’s standards too high these days?”

Now that is a topic I can speak on.

Naturally, I called in. This is my lane—dating, expectations, love, all of it. The Comedian, being his smooth self, casually asked on air, “Babe, what’s that thing you always say?”

Without missing a beat, I replied, “He may not be perfect, but he’s perfect for me.”

That right there is the point.

We all have different flavors we’re drawn to—some people want Rocky Road, others crave Mint Chocolate Chip. And sometimes we confuse what looks good on paper with what actually feels good in real life. You can date someone who checks every box, but if the vibe isn’t there? Game over.

By Ana C.

Look, being picky is okay. Scratch that—you should be picky. But picky with clarity. Not that never-ending list of dreamboat traits you jotted down during a Netflix binge. I’m talking about Patti Stanger’s five non-negotiables. In her book Become Your Own Matchmaker, she encourages everyone to define the top 5 things you absolutely cannot live without in a partner.

And let me tell you—it’s a game changer.

If you’re stuck, try this: write down everything you want in a partner. All of it. Then start cutting until you’re down to just five. Trust me, it’ll reveal what really matters.

Here were mine back when I was looking:

1. Must be able to take care of himself financially

2. Must not be shy

3. Must be family-oriented

4. Must be well-groomed

5. Must want to try new things

Sound familiar? Yep—that’s the Comedian, through and through. It’s almost eerie how much he fits.

Someone once told me that when it comes to job hunting, you have to know exactly what you’re looking for—or you’ll waste time applying for the wrong roles. Shouldn’t dating work the same way?

I say yes.

I’ve dated just to date. I've gone on the “maybe” dates. The “I’m bored” dates. The “he’s nice, but…” dates. But real love—the kind that fits—is different. You feel it. You laugh more. You breathe easier. You finally stop scrolling.

Does that mean he’ll always remember to put the toilet seat down or buy flowers weekly? Absolutely not. But does he meet your core needs—the ones that really matter?

For me, I needed someone I could laugh with forever. And that’s exactly what I found.

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Opposites DO Attract!

Last night, while chatting with the Comedian, it finally hit me—we have way less in common than I originally thought. And weirdly, that realization didn’t feel bad. In fact, it made me smile. After 2 ½ years together, I’m just now seeing our differences with a bit more clarity.

I’ve always been a social butterfly. I love people. If someone’s sitting next to me, chances are I’ll start a conversation just to cut the awkward silence. You never know what you’ll learn! Just this past weekend, I struck up a convo with someone who brews for Cigar City in Tampa—amazing beer, by the way.

Meanwhile, the Comedian? He’d rather stay home, watch movies, and chill. He accommodates my spontaneous energy, but for him, quiet time reigns supreme. That was a huge adjustment for me at first. My mom used to say I had “ants in my pants,” and she wasn’t wrong. I’m always chasing new experiences. Maybe it’s a little bit of FOMO... who knows?

But here’s the thing: he balances me out. I’m slowly—like sloooowly—learning to enjoy downtime. I’ve developed a real appreciation for those quiet nights on the couch, just the two of us and a good movie. No crowds, no small talk, just comfort.

Despite our differences, we connect deeply on the things that matter. Our humor is strange and sarcastic in the best way, and we share similar goals—when to start a family, what kind of careers we want, how we envision our life together.

The Comedian says something that always sticks with me:

“We spend our 30s fixing all the mistakes we made in our 20s.”

Whew. Truth bomb.

Looking back, my 20s were a rollercoaster. But I’m thankful for the lessons, and more importantly, I’m grateful that growth eventually caught up with me. Our relationship isn’t perfect, but it’s real. Two people who want to live a happy, honest life together. Simple—but powerful.

Oh—and speaking of happy, check out a few pics from this weekend. We had an absolute blast. The 80s really were the best.

Don't be alarmed. This is how we kiss...haha jk

Who knew ninja turtles looked so good!

The Comedian and I

Why I think Jane the Virgin is amazing!

I have a new obsession: Jane the Virgin on The CW. Maybe it's the nostalgia—it reminds me of all the novelas (Spanish soap operas) I used to watch growing up—but this show hooked me like the hungriest tuna swimming upstream. I binged it so hard, I even started googling everything about the actors. That’s when I stumbled upon a YouTube interview that truly moved me.

Gina Rodriguez, who plays Jane, spoke about how this role came into her life unexpectedly. For someone who looks like her—Latina, curly-haired, proudly herself—lead roles were few and far between. But this was her chance. During the interview, she shared a beautiful story about how her father always told her she was beautiful, no matter what the world said. That stayed with me.

What she said was powerful: you can live your dream—even if you don’t fit the mold. We’re often trapped in the idea that we’re not pretty enough, experienced enough, or "right" enough for the roles we want in life. But Gina reminded me (and hopefully so many others) that we are all beautiful and worthy in our own right.

Maybe I relate so much because I’m Puerto Rican too. I grew up around a lot of Anglos because my dad was in the military, and I always had wild, curly hair that never quite fit in. I never belonged to just one group. Gina’s story about breaking through her self-doubt and embracing her uniqueness felt deeply personal. She said that once she moved past all the noise in her head—doubt, judgment, societal expectations—everything became clear.

That’s it. The only thing holding most of us back is ourselves. Not our appearance, not our background, not what others think—just that voice in our heads telling us we can’t.

And can we give major props to Gina for winning a Golden Globe for Best Actress? This girl from Chicago, who just wanted to act, landed a lead role in a wonderfully chaotic, heartfelt, and hilarious show—and crushed it. It’s inspiring in the same way Orange Is the New Black was: bold, fresh, and beautifully diverse.

Every time I dive deeper into the world of Jane the Virgin, I fall more in love with it—and the cast. My only complaint? I’m dreading the season finale. I don’t know how I’ll survive the wait for the next episode!

The Old Role Switcheroo

I’ve noticed something in my relationship with my parents—it feels like I stepped into the parental role way too early in life. Recently, I read an article in the Chicago Tribune that confirmed this isn’t uncommon. More and more kids are becoming the “grown-ups” in their homes before they even hit adulthood. And honestly? It feels a little unfair.

I remember my own teenage years being mostly secluded. Sure, I had moments of escape, like going to band camp. But when I came home, I was expected to take care of my younger sister. It always felt like my mom either didn’t notice her misbehavior or just let her do what she wanted. And my dad? He stopped being a part of our lives when I was 14. He only resurfaced about three years ago.

By 16, I was the one keeping an eye on my sister, trying to make sure she wasn’t sneaking around with the neighbor or coming home with a hickey that my mom would notice. I felt like I had to be responsible for her, and it left me longing for something deeper with my mom—a connection I never really got.

When I finally left for college, it felt like I was doing something just for me—a bold step toward independence. But I carried a heavy guilt. After I left, things seemed to fall apart for my sister. She dropped out of high school, moved in with her boyfriend at 16, and I constantly wondered: What if I hadn’t left?

After many years of therapy—and lots of sessions with the Comedian, my in-house therapist—I’ve come to realize something important: I was too young to be anyone’s savior. I wasn’t responsible for my sister’s choices. But that early sense of responsibility shaped me. It showed up in my relationships too. I kept dating people I thought I could “fix.” (If I had a dollar for every time...)

I mean, I once picked up an ex-boyfriend from a bus stop just so we could hang out—because he “couldn’t make it all the way.” That was the norm for me. Until I met the Comedian. He was the first person who took care of me, and in return, I got to take care of him. That mutual support was a whole new experience.

The Chicago Tribune article described kids just like me:

“A straight-A student comes home and starts supper, knowing she’ll spend the evening listening to her dad talk about his troubled personal life.”

“A young beauty-pageant contestant beams at her mom, who is proud to call her daughter her best friend.”

I know people who lived this. And even as adults, it feels like our parents pull us back into those same roles—the ones where we had to grow up too fast.

That instinct to take care of everyone? It still lingers. I still catch myself wanting to fix everything for my family. But for my own well-being and sanity, I’ve learned something critical:

It’s okay to step back.

Let them figure it out sometimes. Because healing your own inner child often means releasing the need to parent everyone else.