5 Topics Couples Don’t Discuss Until It’s Too Late

Murphy’s Law teaches us one thing: if something can go wrong, it will. That’s why couples should talk through the tough topics before they become issues. Marriage is like building a fortress—its strength depends on how well you lay the foundation. A little prevention can go a long way in sparing you from sleepless nights, big fights, and avoidable heartache. Here are five conversations you should definitely have before you walk down the aisle.

1. Finances and Money Management

Love may be blind, but it still needs a budget.

Falling in love is beautiful and, let’s be honest, often irrational. No one starts planning a life together thinking about joint bank accounts or investment strategies—but you should. Financial conversations can feel uncomfortable, but they’re essential.

Discuss things like:

• Who pays for what?

• Do you save or spend?

• How will you handle debt or big purchases?

Long-term financial planning builds trust and clarity. And the fewer financial surprises, the more you’ll enjoy your life together.

2. Sex Life Expectations

Let’s talk about sex—really talk about it.

Sure, in the honeymoon phase, everything feels spicy and effortless. But over time, sex lives change. If you never discuss expectations around intimacy—how often, preferences, boundaries—you risk miscommunication and emotional distance.

Sexual connection can fluctuate, and that’s okay. What matters is having the openness to talk about it before you start feeling rejected or confused.

3. Spirituality and Belief Systems

Faith—or lack of it—can create conflict if you don’t plan ahead.

Maybe one of you is spiritual and the other is not. That might work perfectly fine until decisions about holidays, rituals, or raising children come up. If you don’t align, or at least respect each other’s values and find common ground, resentment can build.

Be honest: What values are non-negotiable? What are you willing to compromise on? When it comes to parenting, can you both respect duality, or is that a dealbreaker?

4. Career Goals and Timing for Kids

You can’t fast-track biology, but you can align on timing.

Marriage in today’s world often means two people chasing big goals. But if one of you wants to travel the world or go to grad school, while the other wants to start a family ASAP—you’re on two different timelines.

Have real conversations about:

• Career priorities

• Timeline for children (or not)

• Flexibility and compromise

Being honest about goals helps prevent resentment—and keeps you moving forward as a team.

5. In-Laws and Outside Influence

Your marriage should be built for two—not a crowd.

Unfortunately, some people don’t leave their parents emotionally. It’s important to discuss how much influence in-laws, friends, or others should have in your marriage.

Healthy boundaries early on will save you major stress later. Your decisions, your rules. Just make sure you’re both on the same page before the opinions start rolling in.

Final Thought

There are plenty of topics worth discussing before marriage—but these five are a solid place to start. Talk early, talk often, and talk honestly. Your future self will thank you.

Online Dating - You're Doing It Wrong

Smartphones and apps have opened the floodgates of free online dating. And why not? You can meet lots of interesting people online - more than you'll meet in a loud, smoky bar. You can filter them to make sure their age, appearance, background, and interests are compatible with yours. And it's fun. Research firm GlobalWebIndex reported in 2015 that 91 million people are using apps like Tinder. Why not? Tinder has millions and millions of users. Surely the person you're looking for has an account.

NEEDLE, MEET HAYSTACK

Maybe so. But Tinder's strength - that it is so widely used - is also its weakness. You're not looking to date millions of people. You're looking to find a particular someone.

General-purpose apps and dating websites try to convince you that having lots of members is a benefit. But in most cases, such sites are a waste of time. (That's one reason their customer ratings are so low.)

Suppose you’re interested solely in guys with beards. Or maybe someone who shares your religious background. A general-purpose dating app may let you set filters so you see only members who match your criteria.

But that doesn’t mean you’ll find lots of them. Like you, people in niche categories find general-interest dating sites and apps frustrating, inefficient, and boring. So you don’t find them there.

A MATTER OF FOCUS

Luckily, savvy website operators have created specialized dating sites for people with particular interests. You can now find a website to help you connect with guys with beards, or fellow Catholics, or big beautiful women, or guys with children, or women with tattoos, or married people interested in discreet relationships, or...well, you name it!

A niche dating site is more efficient because you don't have to wade through the profiles of lots of people who don't match your interests. Better yet, such a site is a community of people who share your attraction. You'll enjoy a real sense of community at a niche site. You can pick up useful online dating tips, chat with like-minded singles, and compare experiences.

A niche site attracts precisely the people you are looking for. And because it rewards their searches with qualified potential partners, they stay active. They tell their friends. The site becomes more and more useful over time.

Best of all, you can be sure that you'll find just the kind of dating partner you're looking for.

Let other singles waste their time swiping left and swiping right on Tinder. You're better off with a niche dating website where you can meet exactly who you're looking for.

Contributed by Dating VIP

The Rise of Dating Apps – Infographic

There is no doubt about the fact that we have seen a phenomenal rise in the use of dating apps and websites in the last number of years. Societal and technological changes have contributed to this rise with people more accepting of casual relationships and also we have witnessed the proliferation of smartphones and the Internet. Tinder, Grindr, Badoo are just a few that are now synonymous in the world of dating but it might surprise you which app is actually the most popular in terms of downloads.

Our friends at Carvaka have put together this interesting infographic which details all the data and statistics that you need to know about the monumental rise in dating apps all over the world.

-Elizabeth Morris, Head of Content, Carvaka Sex Toys

Caller Smart - The app that will block catfishing

Have you ever wondered how to prevent potential Catfishing or ending up in a situation like my friend from one of my previous blogs, What's your last name again?   Well, guess what?  There's an app for that! Katie from Caller Smart reached out to me to spread the word on how their app can help eliminate the possibility of having the wool pulled over your eyes.  It can happen to anyone.  Imagine being at a bar and you exchange phone numbers with a guy that has just made you giggle for the last half an hour.  What if you can look up his phone number to solidify that he is actually who he says he is.  Not only that, but there is a forum on Caller Smart  where other gals can put comments about that particular person under their phone number.  Just another saving grace that will keep you from dating someone who potentially just want to get into your pants.

Katie Boudreau from Caller Smart explained during our interview that the app is a community phone book that is free and available on the iTunes store.  There are additional services such as background checks that cost a little extra through a 3rd party site.  What you do is look up a phone number and check out whether there are any comments regarding the person in question.  This also works for telephone scams.  When did it become okay for telemarketers to call our cell phones??  You can leave feedback on the number as well letting the world know how awful of a tipper the guy was or whether he was just scamming to get into your panties.  The comments are monitored so keep the raunchy language at home.

Katie said that privacy is taken very seriously and you can only search by phone number not by name.  What was also really interesting is that there are scammers out there who target those in their silver years.  It reminds me of the days I was a telemarketer myself and sold credit cards to my elders. (sigh... college jobs but the past is the past) There are people out there who claim to fall in love with those who are older and alone.  Then they convince them to send them money.  That's sooo awful!

Keep yourself safe and those you love safer from scams, deuchebags, and just really really bad people.  Download the Caller Smart app from the iTunes store or check out their website at CallerSmart.com.

Commitaphobes vs. Monogamers: How the Runner Fell in Love with the Stayer

A good friend of mine—“Los” (short for Carlos)—and I have had countless conversations about the two very real types of people you meet in the dating world: commitaphobes and monogamers.

I'll admit it. For a long time, I was a full-blown commitaphobe. There was a moment when I was literally on the verge of marriage and all I could think was: how far can I run before he catches on? I’d date just long enough to enjoy the thrill but not long enough to be vulnerable. For me, leaving was safer than the risk of being left.

Turns out, abandonment issues have a funny way of shaping your love life.

Then I met “The Comedian.”

And wouldn’t you know it? He was a textbook monogamer. What’s a monogamer, you ask? It’s someone who’s pretty much always in a relationship. My younger sister is one too—rarely single, always in love, thriving in companionship. Same with my fiancé. He loves being in love.

When I met him, I couldn’t help but wonder: What makes me different from the others? Was I just another long-term situation waiting to fizzle?

I knew I had to be honest from day one. I told him straight up: I’m not dating for the sake of dating. I only do real. And surprisingly… so did he. We had this magnetic pull—maybe it was chemistry, maybe it was divine timing, maybe it was the law of attraction finally giving me what I’d been asking for.

Whatever it was, it changed me.

There was a shift inside me when I met The Comedian. I knew it would take someone truly special for me to finally stay. He’s my Mr. Big. (My ex? Total Aidan. Too nice. Too stable. Too easy to run from.)

relationships, love, dating, the comedian

Over the years, I’ve encountered both monogamers and commitaphobes—and yeah, I’ll admit it: I kind of loved the chase. The guys who were hard to get? That was my jam. The ones who made it too easy? Yawn. I’d bolt the other way. Something about the drama, the tension, the unhealthy challenge (lol)—I was hooked.

Looking back, it was all part of my very own Sex and the City love story. Carrie Bradshaw said it best:

“I’m looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.”

the comedian, corks

And somehow, a monogamer and a commitaphobe made it work. He brings out the best in me, and I’m learning—slowly, beautifully—how to be vulnerable. He loves me for my heart, and I love him for helping me grow into someone I didn’t think I could be.

If you’re out there searching for love, maybe you’re a runner too. Maybe you’re waiting for someone to convince you to stay. Or maybe, just maybe, you’ll find your version of Mr. Big who makes you stop running and start trusting.

I know I did.

Serendipity: When God Sends You Exactly Where You Need to Be

Lately, life has been full of little moments that feel… divinely timed. Since starting my relationship with God, prayer has become a regular part of my life. And truthfully, I’m not the same woman I was six months ago. I feel content in a way that’s hard to explain.

It’s almost as if I’m being placed in certain situations on purpose. I believe that’s God at work—nudging me, guiding me, showing me where I need to be.

A couple of weeks ago, I was invited to a Women of ALPFA event—a professional organization for Hispanic leaders. I said yes, thinking it would be your standard networking mixer. (Which, don’t get me wrong, is great. I’m all for putting yourself out there and making new connections.) But I had no idea what I was walking into.

After dinner and a few opening remarks, the keynote speaker took the stage. Her name was Janet Perez Eckles, and she instantly captivated the room. Blind since age 31, she went on to become a professional interpreter, motivational speaker, and a best-selling author. Her energy was electric. Her story moved me deeply—and in that moment, I felt this undeniable clarity: writing is my calling.

I’ve heard that whisper in the back of my mind for years. But that night? It shouted. That night felt like divine confirmation.

And it didn’t stop there.

Not long after, I attended another professional event—this one hosted by NSHMBA, where I serve as the Director of Marketing. After a networking icebreaker, a man approached me. He had been in my boyfriend’s group and started the conversation by complimenting him (which, honestly, melted my heart because I know he’s a good man). We got to talking, and I found out he was newly divorced and dipping his toes back into the dating world.

He was hesitant about online dating. I couldn’t help but chuckle a little—because, well, I’ve been in that space for years. I told him the truth: dating online isn’t something to fear. We’re all so busy and guarded these days that stepping into a digital space just helps you connect with others who are also serious about finding love.

As long as you meet safely and stay honest, online dating is no more risky than meeting someone at a bar or through friends. I told him, dating is always a risk. You’re putting your heart out there in hopes that maybe this will lead to something real. And sometimes, all it takes is a small conversation to shift someone’s perspective.

He thanked me before we parted ways. And I couldn’t help but think—if I hadn’t been there, maybe he wouldn’t have taken that step toward love.

Is that serendipity? Is it divine alignment? I think it’s both. I truly believe that when you pray with intention, God listens. He may not answer in flashing lights or loud voices—but He sends people, moments, nudges, signs. You just have to slow down enough to see them.

What’s Your Last Name Again? Yeah... That Matters.

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You really don’t know a person until you know, ummm… their last name?

Recently, a good friend of mine decided to dive into the online dating world after a pretty traumatizing breakup. I gently warned her that she might not be ready for dating just yet, so I suggested she try a free dating site—just to get her feet wet. Little did I know, she was about to get a crash course in dating red flags.

One day, she showed me a picture of a guy she had just started talking to. According to her, he was the whole package—into sports, had a son, sexy voice, the works. I was skeptical from the beginning. Something about the whole thing felt... off. Especially when he asked her to meet him at his job—a busy restaurant in Winter Park.

That Saturday, I tagged along. I figured, if nothing else, I’d get to scope out this guy and maybe score a few freebies. We sat at the bar and she nervously texted him that she was there. It was honestly adorable—she looked like a giddy schoolgirl. And when he finally walked by, she lit up. “He looks so much better in person!” she whispered.

He passed by a few more times, and eventually invited us to join him at a bar later. A friend of mine joined too—because let’s be honest, I wasn’t trying to third wheel all night. We didn’t exactly get the VIP hookup at the restaurant, but hey, there was a discount. (Side note: If a guy invites you somewhere, he should at least offer to pay. Just sayin’.)

After that night, the two of them kept talking. They made plans for lunch the following week, then a Saturday night out. At some point, she casually asked him, “Hey, I don’t even know your last name.” He paused for a second, then replied, “Fernandez.”

Cool. All good, right?

Fast forward to Saturday night—we were downtown with some of my old college friends. She peeled off to meet up with her “Fernandez” for drinks. As they ordered, the bartender asked for a name to put the tab under. His response? “Lopez.”

LOPEZ???

Yeah. Huge red flag. Naturally, we did what any self-respecting woman in 2020-something would do—we Googled him. And girl, the mugshot came up like a horror story. Along with multiple domestic violence charges.

Once he realized she heard him drop the wrong last name, he conveniently disappeared. Poof. Gone.

All I can say is—some men in the dating world are just not datable. Check the receipts, ladies. That last name might tell you everything you need to know.

Downtown Duesche

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There’s a certain breed of guy I absolutely despise: the Downtown Douche. You know the type—lives downtown, is always out, and forever on the hunt. Last week, out of sheer boredom, I texted someone I’d been talking to on and off. I had a feeling he was cocky, so I’d been dodging the meetup, but he invited me to a familiar bar where I know the manager. I figured, “What’s the worst that could happen?”

Well.

When I arrived, I didn’t see him right away. I waited at the bar for ten minutes before realizing he’d been sitting behind me the whole time. Great start. He walked me over to his table, offered a drink (vodka tonic, naturally), and a shot. And then came the usual: “You’re so hot.” Sigh. He casually mentioned he lived downtown, and I joked, “Well at least you don’t have to drive.” That’s when the hands started. Everywhere.

He leaned in and said I should just go home with him—because I was drinking. Excuse me? If there’s one rule I live by, it’s this: never go home with a guy on the first night. That’s how you end up with a one-night stand and a blocked number.

He kept going on about his apartment, his view, his car—like I cared. I wasn’t impressed. I need connection, humor, something to keep my attention. Honestly, my ADD was about to kick in. If a bunny rabbit had run across the bar, I would’ve chased it just to escape the conversation.

Eventually, he asked what I thought of him. I told him the truth: You come off like an asshole. He smirked, then told me I was probably insecure—because I was people-watching. Yep, he really said that. I was floored. He left for the bathroom and his very conveniently placed wingman slid into the seat next to me. I knew what was happening.

When Mr. Downtown came back, he didn’t even look at me. He was flirting with another girl at the bar. So I leaned into his friend, said I had to use the bathroom (lie), and walked straight out the front door.

Here’s the thing: this kind of guy isn’t looking for connection. He’s looking for someone naïve enough to fall for his flash. The condo, the cocktails, the charm—all designed to get you into his bed. He won’t ask about your day, your passions, or your dreams. He’s not interested in you.

I texted him later, just to see if I was right: “I left because it felt like you just wanted to get laid.”
He replied: “Yes.”
Case closed.

Ryan Reynolds (But Not Really)

Last night, I went on a date with someone I met on Match.com. Honestly, I didn’t have high expectations. He didn’t really seem like my type physically from his photos, and on the phone, it was hard to get a full story out of him. Still, I was trying not to get my hopes up—call it a defense mechanism. He did, however, manage to convince me to cancel a date with an older guy I was second-guessing. So I gave it a shot.

We met at a pool hall and as I approached the door, I stopped in my tracks. This man looked like Ryan Reynolds. No exaggeration—he did not look like his profile pics… but in the best way possible.

Once we sat at the bar, he noticed I was acting a little shy. When he asked why, I admitted that I was honestly kind of thrown off by how attractive he was in person. He asked what I thought of his profile, and because I’m me, I told him the truth. I gave him my honest feedback, just like I had shared my dating experiences and thoughts on what women are really looking for.

The rest of the date felt… awkward. We were locked in this back-and-forth sarcasm battle, almost like we were competing instead of connecting. There was tension, but not in a sexy way—more like two people trying to one-up each other.

I told him during the date not to change his profile unless things didn’t go well. And because I’m nosy (let’s be real), I checked it the next day. He changed it.

Here’s the kicker—I didn’t realize I had moonlighted as an online dating profile consultant. At one point, he even asked if I’d ever been on a blind date before, and I couldn’t help but laugh. If only he knew about Bad Date 4 – The Really Blind Date. 😬

I guess the lesson here is: maybe don’t give dating advice to someone while you’re dating them. Or maybe... do. Just don’t be surprised when they take it and run—with their profile.