I’m Valerie—writer, dating coach, storyteller, and recovering overthinker.
ValsBytes is where humor, heartbreak, healing, and a few too many late-night thoughts come to live.

Whether I’m unpacking a bad date, rediscovering myself after marriage, or tackling what it means to love (yourself and someone else) in a complicated world, this blog is a bite-sized serving of real life. Some of it’s funny. Some of it’s raw. All of it’s honest.

You'll find posts about:

  • Dating after trauma (yep, I’ve got stories)

  • Navigating modern relationships without losing your mind

  • Loving someone with baggage… while carrying your own

  • Personal growth, identity, and healing

  • A touch of travel, a dash of career pivoting, and lots of caffeine

This is a space for anyone who’s ever felt too much, lost themselves in love, or cracked a joke in the middle of crying. You’re not alone here.

So pull up a chair, pour some cafecito, and stay awhile.
Let’s figure this life thing out—one byte at a time

 
 

Check out the latest posts…

Featured
When I Realized I Had Been Fawning My Whole Life
When I Realized I Had Been Fawning My Whole Life

After years of thinking I understood my relationship patterns, I finally recognized something my therapist had been telling me all along: I fawn. One difficult experience forced me to confront how this trauma response has shaped my boundaries, my relationships, and the ways I’ve made myself smaller to keep people from leaving. This is what I’m learning about choosing authenticity, creating safety, and showing up as myself.

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Not Looking for Anything Serious Still Requires Boundaries
Not Looking for Anything Serious Still Requires Boundaries

Not looking for anything serious does not mean no boundaries. After a few wild Tinder encounters, I learned how to spot red flags fast, say no without guilt, and stop trying to be the cool girl.

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From Cute Coffee Shop to Get Me Out of Here
From Cute Coffee Shop to Get Me Out of Here

A cute Colombian coffee shop, a green pistachio latte, and a great conversation turned into a rapid fire parade of red flags. By the time nine dollar wine became a complaint and I ended up in a dark dirty house with wedding photos still out, I knew I needed my own ride home. This is the story, plus what I wish I had done sooner.

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