I'm Officially Mrs. Comedian!

It’s been a month and two days since I married The Comedian—and while I may be a little late sharing the details, what better time than now to reflect on the highs and lows of the big day? In short, it was everything I wanted: a big, beautiful party filled with good food, good music, and the people we love most.

Everyone asked me what I wanted out of our wedding, and my answer was simple: a fun celebration. And Orlando delivered. While many know the city for its theme parks, I’ve always loved showing off the other side of Orlando—its character, charm, and culture.

Wedding, blog, relationships, dating, marriage, the comedian, the beard and the mole

and what it used to be with some Spanish flair.  We had our wedding at tapas restaurant named Ceviche located right in the heart of downtown Orlando.  The brick streets and old buildings give the whole area of Church Street it’s character.  I could go into ghost stories about this particular area, but that would be an entirely different blog.  I have frequented this restaurant with a good friend of mine plenty of times to talk about business and life over champagne and great food.  The details in the woodwork all over the restaurant took me over the edge.  I was sold.  I had gone to other venues, but they didn’t appeal to me nearly as much.  The Comedian and I are a unique, creative couple and the venue needed to embody that.

A few months before the wedding, everything started to hit me hard.  I was struggling with the financials.  How was I going to pay for everything?  Then it hit me.  The florist I initially hired went bankrupt.  Say what?!?!  I went into a panic mode.  Kelly, the event coordinator at Ceviche, came to my rescue.  She gave me a couple of names, and I was put in touch with Jaimz at Florida Flowers and Orchids.  She quoted me less than the original florist, and the flowers turned out amazing.  The biggest debacle with this was, I had already paid in full.  Since the services were not rendered, the bank was able to help me out and I was credited the money for the flowers.

Situation diverted.

Finally, the day had arrived.  We had the rehearsal the night before and then I went out with friends, walked

Wedding, blog, relationships, dating, marriage, the comedian, the beard and the mole

That’s why we chose Ceviche, a Spanish tapas restaurant in the heart of downtown, as our venue. The brick streets and historic buildings of Church Street felt like the perfect backdrop for a unique and meaningful ceremony. I’ve shared many deep conversations at Ceviche over bubbly and great bites, so it only made sense to say “I do” there too.

Of course, like all weddings, there were hiccups. A few months out, the financial strain hit hard. And then—plot twist—the florist I’d already paid in full went bankrupt. Total panic. But thanks to Kelly at Ceviche and Jaimz at Florida Flowers and Orchids, we got it sorted. Jaimz gave us a better deal and delivered stunning arrangements. Bonus: I got the original payment refunded thanks to my bank.

Crisis averted.

The night before the wedding, we had a lovely rehearsal, followed by a peaceful solo stay at the Grand Bohemian Hotel. It was the calm before the storm—in a good way. I woke up early, giddy like a kid on Christmas, grabbed breakfast with my sister and friends at Le Gourmet Break (the croissants are life-changing), and returned to prep for the day.

Wedding, blog, relationships, dating, marriage, the comedian, the beard and the mole

Karen from the Karmel Design Team worked her magic on my hair and makeup, while Maria from Events Unlimited by M kept the chaos at bay. If you’re a bride and don’t think you need a coordinator—trust me, you do. My OCD would’ve gone into overdrive without her.

Everything moved fast from there: makeup, flowers, photos, van rides, and finally… the aisle. My cousin played Spanish guitar as I walked toward The Comedian with both my mom and dad at my side. I saw his smile, and the rest of the world melted away.

Wedding, blog, relationships, dating, marriage, the comedian, the beard and the mole

The ceremony was touching and funny, the reception was a blur of dancing, speeches, and snapshots. I got to share a special dance with my dad—a moment I’ll treasure forever. DJ Sparks kept the party lit, the photo booth was a hit (thanks, Mom!), and we ended the night riding off to the hotel in a pedicab, full hearts and all.

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Thank you to every single person who helped make this day unforgettable. I couldn’t have dreamed up a better way to become Mrs. Comedian.

P.S. I don’t have the pro photos yet, but here’s a sneak peek of the video:
🎥 Wedding Trailer - Sophia Rose Photography & Film

Wedding, blog, relationships, dating, marriage, the comedian, the beard and the mole

I honestly could not have asked for a better night.  Thank you, everyone, who helped during this crazy time!

P.S.  I don’t have the professional pics yet, but when I do, I promise to share.  In the meantime, here’s a trailer from Sophia Rose.

https://vimeo.com/190464051

The Truth to Matchmaking

Every time I meet one of The Comedian’s guy friends, I get asked the same question: “Do you have any single girlfriends?” The answer is yes, I do—but whether I think they’re a good match is an entirely different story. Matchmaking is not just some casual hobby—it’s practically a science. You can’t just toss two single people together and expect magic. The Comedian swears I have a matchmaking addiction, and maybe he’s right. I love love. I want people to experience it as deeply as I do. But, spoiler alert: it’s not always that simple.

happy couple

I’ve definitely learned the hard way. Sometimes, people aren’t ready for a relationship. Other times, they just don’t want one. I remember recently talking with a friend about setting her up with someone I knew—a great catch, but living in another state. What I didn’t share was that he had zero interest in being in a relationship. Lesson learned: don’t force a romantic vision on someone who hasn’t asked for it.

When matchmaking does work, it’s usually because both people are open and ready. I once met a guy when I was single, and while there was no romantic chemistry between us, he described exactly what he was looking for. Immediately, I thought of someone who matched his criteria to a T. I brought him to a place where I knew she’d be—and five years later, they’re still together.

There’s also this: some people say they want love but haven’t done the work to be ready for it. That’s a hard truth to swallow. I always say, “You can’t be happy with someone else if you’re not happy with yourself.” I kissed a lot of frogs before I found my prince. The wild thing is, most of those frogs are still single—and not because they’re unlucky. It’s because they haven’t grown.

What drove me crazy when I was single was how inconsiderate some men were with time. If you make plans, show up—or at the very least, cancel. Basic decency, right? Some guys are just cowards. (Yeah, I said it.)

I see some of my girlfriends struggling with dating, and I get it—it’s brutal out there. But if you love yourself, exude confidence, and respect the feelings of others, you’re already ahead of the game. One of my go-to lines:

“You have to be the person you want to be in a relationship before you’re in a relationship.”

If you’re out partying three nights a week, fine—but consider how someone seeking real commitment might perceive that. A real partner wants peace, not pettiness. He’s not looking for someone to spiral because he forgot the anniversary of your first kiss.

Matchmaking isn’t just about chemistry—it’s about timing, emotional readiness, and intention. Love deserves thought. Always.

My Rattled Psyche

My psyche has been on a roller coaster lately—rattled, stretched, and occasionally flung upside down. Wedding planning, as it turns out, isn’t just about picking colors or tasting cake. It’s psychological warfare. One minute you’re overjoyed, and the next, you’re wondering how many more vendor calls you can take without spontaneously combusting.

Just yesterday, I was chatting with one of The Comedian’s coworkers whose daughter is also planning a wedding. She said her daughter reached the point where she simply doesn’t care anymore. And honestly? Same. I’m there. That’s my current zip code.

Relationships, advice, dating

But through all the chaos, I’ve met some truly incredible people. I’ve also discovered who’s willing to go the extra mile, and who quietly steps back. I still cherish my friends and family to the core—but I’ve had to come to terms with something difficult: You can’t save them all.

I recently had a conversation that reminded me why I care so deeply for people, even those who’ve hurt me. I’ve always had this pull to help, to reach out, to offer a hand even if it’s been slapped away before. It’s why I blog—to be the voice someone might need. Maybe some woman out there is standing at a crossroads, and she reads my story. Maybe she sees the light.

That hope keeps me writing.

I truly believe I was put on this earth to walk through certain storms so I could return with wisdom to offer someone else. Not the kind of wisdom that comes just from experience—but the kind that emerges when you choose to see your experiences as tools for growth.

It’s also why I tend to get invested in people’s relationships. I once spent an extra 30 minutes in an Uber giving the driver relationship advice. Whether or not The Comedian thought it was “appropriate,” my tipsy heart said, “Sir, you deserve clarity!”

The theme of my bachelorette cruise? Finding ourselves again. Because somewhere between the babies, the jobs, and the relationships, we forget how phenomenal we are. We forget the fire we carry. That trip reminded me: I love people. I love dancing like no one’s watching. And I love being surrounded by women who’ve lived, cried, healed, and still rise.

That’s why I feel so rattled—I had forgotten.

And now, I remember.

The truth is, wedding planning, working full-time, and navigating my freelance dreams have all taken a toll. I’m ready for the wedding to be behind me. Not because I’m not excited—I am—but because I’m ready to shift into a new season.

A season where I have time to write, time to travel, time to step into the purpose I’ve been dancing around for years. There’s a lot I can’t share yet, but just know this: change is coming, and it’s the kind of change that makes your heart beat a little faster with anticipation.

I might even go back to school. I’ve always felt called to help people in their relationships—to help them see clearly what they can’t from the inside. Sometimes all we need is one honest voice from the outside to shine a little light.

And speaking of light, this was Joel Osteen’s prayer today. I’ll leave it with you:

“Father, today I raise my level of expectancy. I choose to take the limits off of my thinking. I know that You are able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all I could ever ask, think or imagine. Thank You for the blessing You have in store for me in Jesus’ name! Amen.”

Here’s to rising. To realigning. To remembering who you are.

finding yourself, relationships, relationship advice

A Commitphobe strikes again!

I am sincerely honored to get asked advice from someone who I normally speak to in my social circle.  Thank you so much for reading my blog! Here goes:

Dear Val,

I have fallen for a commitphobe guy which I dated for 2 months. He has been in relationships up to 5 years but only because of his children. Every time we got close to one another he would pull away. Last week, he introduced me to his friend and cousin. Then next day, I noticed texts were getting colder. That Saturday we met up again, I felt his coldness when we attended his partner's party. That's when we finally had a massive argument. He made excuses that I was disrespecting him at his partner's party, like crossing my arms and not turning my face from me. He took photos of me crossing my arms to prove it to me. He then stormed out of party and asked "Where shall I take you?" He wanted to go home and said I should go home too. I was confused, distraught, and didn't easily leave. I tried to reason with him but it got worse.

Since that day he's been stalking my Facebook and putting sarcastic posts up. I cropped one of photos up from the party and posted it not in a bad way. He then posted he needs a vacation and was writing to his friends to go away next week for his birthday to Istanbul.

1. He knew I wanted to go to Istanbul and worse still is I booked the trip.

2. Also knows paid for a bed , breakfast & dinner date, and a yacht for his birthday.

He has also cropped my pic out and posted as profile pic.

When I post pics from party he likes them of course sarcastically to hurt me or puts quotes he will be in a relationship in 2016.  I sent him a few pics of him from party and he sent me the 2 pics with me looking other way or crossing arms.

This is just an excuse, why doesn't he move on then or delete me instead of checking my posts and being bitter.

I should move on yes but it does hurt me. I am fed up with his mind games but I miss him too in some sense.

Could you give me any advice, please?

Sincerely,

K

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

Dear K,

First and foremost, I would like to thank you seeking advice from me.  I really appreciate it.

Second, here's my advice...

I'm not sure of your friend's previous situation however it seems he is extremely emotionally immature and not ready for a real relationship.  Some commitophobes tend to make excuses to not get into another relationship one way or another.  He has to be hurt from some previous experience to be scared to want to commit again.

From your email, I noticed there is some abusive behavior that is not healthy for you or for him for that matter.  You were probably excited to share the pictures from the party and his response was negative.  This is a classic case of trying to build his ego.  He is only concerned about making himself feel good and not with your own well being.

If there's any way for you to potentially go on the trip with a good friend of yours at another time without a huge penalty, I would recommend that.  The reason why some guys don't let someone go is because they do not like the idea of rejection.  Again, it boosts his ego knowing that he can always go to you when he needs you.  This does nothing for you, only causes you confusion and pain.

Like I told a friend not too long ago, if you love something let it go and if it comes back it's yours.  In this case, your guy here needs to grow up emotionally a little bit before he can have someone significant in his life.

As hard as it is to walk away from someone you fell for, do it for yourself.  You will be much happier in the long run.  Relationships are not supposed to be this hard so early.  It is supposed to be all butterflies in your stomach, happy moments, and longing to be with that person ALL of the time.

You're absolutely right.  It's going to suck for a little while.  Put yourself first.  You should be number one in your life all of the time.  Loving yourself only makes it easier for someone else to love you.  Trust me, I've been there, I remember the happy moments and wonder why I ended things but then I realize I love myself too much to put myself through the pain again.

Let me know how you're doing through the process.  I can suggest some books or even podcasts to listen to that will make you feel better while you are going through the break up.

Sincerely,

Val

Caller Smart - The app that will block catfishing

Have you ever wondered how to prevent potential Catfishing or ending up in a situation like my friend from one of my previous blogs, What's your last name again?   Well, guess what?  There's an app for that! Katie from Caller Smart reached out to me to spread the word on how their app can help eliminate the possibility of having the wool pulled over your eyes.  It can happen to anyone.  Imagine being at a bar and you exchange phone numbers with a guy that has just made you giggle for the last half an hour.  What if you can look up his phone number to solidify that he is actually who he says he is.  Not only that, but there is a forum on Caller Smart  where other gals can put comments about that particular person under their phone number.  Just another saving grace that will keep you from dating someone who potentially just want to get into your pants.

Katie Boudreau from Caller Smart explained during our interview that the app is a community phone book that is free and available on the iTunes store.  There are additional services such as background checks that cost a little extra through a 3rd party site.  What you do is look up a phone number and check out whether there are any comments regarding the person in question.  This also works for telephone scams.  When did it become okay for telemarketers to call our cell phones??  You can leave feedback on the number as well letting the world know how awful of a tipper the guy was or whether he was just scamming to get into your panties.  The comments are monitored so keep the raunchy language at home.

Katie said that privacy is taken very seriously and you can only search by phone number not by name.  What was also really interesting is that there are scammers out there who target those in their silver years.  It reminds me of the days I was a telemarketer myself and sold credit cards to my elders. (sigh... college jobs but the past is the past) There are people out there who claim to fall in love with those who are older and alone.  Then they convince them to send them money.  That's sooo awful!

Keep yourself safe and those you love safer from scams, deuchebags, and just really really bad people.  Download the Caller Smart app from the iTunes store or check out their website at CallerSmart.com.

Wedding Cake Rant (aka I Don’t Even Like Cake)

I have a confession... I don’t like cake.
There, I said it. That’s my struggle.

The wedding industry wants me to drop $500 on something I don’t even enjoy eating. Meanwhile, my fiancé does like cake, so the battle isn't totally lost. I get it—I want that cheesy, adorable moment of smashing cake in his face too. But y’all... the price tags? Out of control.

You could say I’m unconventional. That’s what makes me... well, me. I wasn’t the girl who dreamed of a huge, elaborate wedding growing up. I’m not a princess. If someone tries to put a tiara on my head, I will scream.

I’m a people person. And when marriage became a real thing, I started planning the stuff that actually mattered to me. Like the sound of Spanish guitar during the ceremony—because my dad, uncles, and cousins all played growing up. It’s part of who I am. The rest? I just want a party. The kind where people are smiling, dancing, eating too much, laughing until they cry, and celebrating love. Our love. That’s the dream.

But can we talk about how everything is so freakin’ expensive?

I’ll be real with you. Spending more than $500 on a wedding dress gave me actual heartburn. I tried watching Say Yes to the Dress once, but when I heard the prices those brides were throwing down for a dress they’ll wear for five hours, I almost passed out. One boutique called and said their starting price was $3,000. I said, “Say what now?! Starting?!”

And don’t even get me started on invitations and cake. Like... I know most guests will toss the invite the second they drop it in their calendar app, so why am I paying $7 each for embossed cardstock? I just want to not feel like I have to DIY my entire wedding just to avoid going broke.

To be clear: If you can afford the dream wedding, do it. More power to you. This isn’t a knock on anyone’s big day. This is just me, in my feelings, wondering if I can throw a meaningful, beautiful, unforgettable celebration without breaking the bank.

My mission? Spend as little as possible and still have the night of our lives.
I just wish the second you say the word “wedding,” the price tag didn’t triple.

And We Watched Football

We looked at the stars while he passed me my drink. This—this was how I always imagined life should feel. The beach chairs in his parents’ backyard gave us the perfect view of a sparkling night sky.

I met Pedro through a mutual friend at a club. From the start, our personalities just clicked. I couldn’t quite pinpoint what attracted me to him—it wasn’t his style or even his looks. There was just something about him that made me stay.

“Hey, the game will be on in about 30 minutes. You wanna jump in the pool for a quick swim before kickoff?” he asked, a little too confidently.

I nodded, smiling. We stripped down to our underwear and I jumped in first, only to realize—I forgot my drink.

“Hey, Pedro!” I called, “Can you grab our drinks?”

He turned around, grabbed our red plastic cups, and walked them over to the edge of the pool. But instead of handing them to me like a gentleman, he splashed me right in the face.

“Hey! My hair isn’t naturally curly!” I yelled through laughter.

He handed me my drink, and we slipped into a conversation about how stars were formed, wondering if they’d still exist at the end of the world. You know, nerdy stuff—the kind of talk that makes you feel like the only two people on Earth.

Maybe it was the high. Maybe the drinks. Maybe the chemistry. Whatever it was, I was having a blast.

Pedro eventually climbed out of the pool, grabbed our towels, and reminded me the game was about to start. It was our team—one we weirdly always watched together because they won every time we did. Superstitious? Maybe. But we didn’t mess with the ritual.

His parents were out of town visiting family in California, so there was no need for me to rush home. Still, I couldn’t help but notice: he was in his 30s and still living at home. I didn’t know when he’d last been in a real relationship. It was clear he wasn’t in any rush to settle down.

But in that moment, I didn’t care. I enjoyed him. There were no expectations, even though feelings were starting to bubble beneath the surface. I knew deep down that this wouldn’t last—but it didn’t make the memories any less special.

I plopped onto the long sectional while he settled into the recliner.

“Hey,” he said, looking over, “Come over here.”

I didn’t hesitate. I curled into his lap just as the game began. We clinked cups, I grabbed snacks from the table, and we rode the emotional rollercoaster that is football.

Honestly, I don’t know what’s more dramatic—watching Grey’s Anatomy kill off yet another character or watching this team blow a lead in the last five minutes. Either way, my heart can only take so much.

We laughed, shouted, cheered, and—yes—I gave up too early, and he teased me for it. But our team won. And for the two of us, it felt like magic.

Later, we made our way to his childhood bedroom. And what happened after that?

Well, let’s just say—I never kiss and tell.

“What If?” Is a Scary Phrase

Recently, a close friend of mine lost his father. Naturally, it got me thinking about my relationship with mine.

The first thing that hit me—hard—was the reminder that life is fleeting. People come and go. Bad things happen, good things happen. There are moments of pure joy and relationships that shape us… and sometimes break us. Some of those memories have even led me into hours of therapy I’m still not sure how I paid for. But I digress.

My younger sister, dad, and me

I didn’t have a close relationship with my dad growing up. He just wasn’t around. That’s not to say he didn’t care—it’s just complicated. Military life comes with its own set of rules. For one, I never had a friend longer than two years. Not because I wasn’t a good friend, but because we all moved constantly. I still remember my best friend from elementary school moving to Alaska. (How were we supposed to keep in touch without the internet back then?)

My dad spent nights on base, weekends in training, and eventually re-enlisted after a short-lived retirement—this time in Panama. Needless to say, he missed some of the most awkward and formative years of my life: the teenage ones. And honestly, I’m still not sure about all the reasons why he wasn’t around more.

Then, when I was about 27, something shifted. Out of nowhere, my dad reappeared and started reaching out consistently. We don’t see each other all the time, but we email regularly. And through those conversations, I’ve started to see parts of myself in him. I finally understand where my personality came from.

Still, I can’t help but wonder about the future.

Even something as joyful as wedding planning has brought its challenges. Getting a response from him about anything is like pulling teeth. And while I want him involved, I feel caught between not wanting to try too hard and fearing the regret of never having tried enough.

I want him to be part of my life now. I want him to be part of my future kids’ lives. I want him to show up—not just for the big events, but the small moments too.

I don’t want to look back and ask, “What if I had tried harder to build that relationship?”
Because, honestly? That’s all I really want.
A better relationship—before it’s too late.

My dad back in the day on the bottom right corner

Wedding Planning is for the Birds

Val&Gio (11)

If anyone really knows me, they know one thing for sure: I sincerely don’t like being the center of attention. I’d much rather mingle through the crowd, getting to know people one-on-one. Honestly, I turn beet red every time someone sings “Happy Birthday” to me.

So what does that say about my experience becoming a bride?
Let’s just say… it’s been a ride.

Every time someone asks, “So how’s wedding planning going?” I feel a wave of anxiety. Don’t get me wrong—I’m a hustler. I work in operations for a living! I get stuff done. And yes, almost everything is already planned: venue booked, dress picked, details organized. All that’s left is the wedding cake, bridesmaids’ dresses, and a few tiny odds and ends.

But what’s been keeping me up at night isn’t the timeline—it’s the budget.

I’ve always been good at saving, but this kind of expense? It’s on another level. Our parents have helped out tremendously (thank you, thank you), but let’s be real: weddings are expensive. I didn’t realize flowers cost that much until I saved $100 by removing one rose from each centerpiece. One. Single. Rose. INSANE.

If I had all the money in the world, I’d cover the whole room in florals, hire flamenco dancers, and throw in a photo booth with props for days. But we’re just two middle-class Americans trying to make magic happen on a not-so-magical budget. And honestly? That’s okay.

downtown orlando, lake eola, engagement, photos

People keep telling me, “Just enjoy the process!” And I try. I really do. I love planning parties. I love organizing. But I also like knowing I can afford what I’m putting together. I think some people stress over the details because they want to please everyone. They want everything to be perfect. But I’ve learned (sometimes the hard way) that nothing ever goes exactly as planned. And that's not the point anyway.

Luckily, we've been blessed by generous friends and family doing us favors. That has meant everything. Now, my next task is building the wedding day timeline. Who knew every single detail needed to be mapped out? (Thanks, bridezillas. You've raised the bar for those of us just trying to keep it cool.)

On a brighter note—we got some of our engagement photos back! They turned out so sweet. Go ahead, take a peek and smile with us.

Don't Get in that Car

I recently heard something on the radio that shook me. A young woman had been raped after getting into a car with a stranger.

My first thought? Why would anyone get into a car with someone they don’t know?
But I had to pause. Because while it might seem obvious to some of us, we live in a world where people are taught to be polite—sometimes at the expense of their safety.

Maybe it’s my thick skin. Maybe it’s the close calls I’ve had. But I believe we need to talk more honestly about the decisions we make and how to protect ourselves—not with blame or shame, but with clarity.

We’re all taught about “stranger danger” as kids, but somehow, that lesson fades as we grow up. Yet the risks don’t. According to the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), most sexual assaults are committed by someone the victim knows—but that doesn’t mean trusting a stranger is any safer.

A recent social experiment on YouTube (watch here: Social Experiment on Stranger Danger) showed just how easy it is for people to let their guard down. It’s chilling to see women voluntarily get into a car with someone they just met.

I speak from experience. I haven’t always made the safest choices, and I say this with empathy, not judgment. I know what it’s like to want to believe in the good in people. But there’s a line between being optimistic and being unprotected.

Let’s look at another scenario:
You meet a guy at a bar. He’s charming, the vibe is right, and then he invites you to his place after.
What do you think is going to happen? A long, respectful conversation about art and philosophy? Probably not.

One of my favorite lines from How I Met Your Mother says it best:

“Nothing good happens after 2 a.m.”

Go home. Protect your dignity and your peace. If he’s a good guy, he’ll call. If he doesn’t? He never was.

I get it—insecurities sometimes make us crave validation. Sometimes curiosity gets the better of us. And sometimes we just don’t want to be alone. I’ve been there.

But the truth is, many of my worst dates and most regrettable choices could’ve been avoided if I’d put my self-worth first. That’s the lesson I’m sharing here—not to shame, but to empower.

I also believe God doesn’t put us through anything we can’t handle. Sometimes we fall so we can rise stronger. But we can minimize how hard we fall by listening to our gut, learning from the past, and choosing ourselves first.

If you or someone you know is struggling, confused, or carrying the weight of a sexual assault, I’m here to listen—no judgment, just support. That goes for men and women alike.

You are worth protecting. You are worth waiting for. You are worthy—period.